I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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