i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
