I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize