whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
