and my herpes radar will keep us safe
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
