hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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