I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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