She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
