not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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