Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
