question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
