Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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