You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
