I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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