It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Randomize
