I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Randomize
