his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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