I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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