Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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