He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
