I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
