haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
