maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
