Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize