I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
