Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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