I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
