he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
