I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
