I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
