i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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