I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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