I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize