We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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