Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
