Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
