is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
