and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
