apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My breasts were aching with rage.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
