I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
