Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
