You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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