Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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