my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
do herpes really smell.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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