I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
