After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
