hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
high people should be assigned attendants
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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