She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
