dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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