Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
