At least make sure they are 18
Why
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
