Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I could fuck to npr.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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