high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
