But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
