I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
