is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
