Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
