I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
