If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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