We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
A bitchslap is in order.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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