where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
