If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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