He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
