Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
