I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
