guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Fuck appropriateness.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
