I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
