I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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