I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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